Mindfulness

I am more conscious of what I eat, or a more accurate statement is that I am aware of my perception about what I eat and how it makes me feel. I'm still eating though, anything and everything. It's habitual. There's no denying the strength of habits. I'm trying to change my habits to become healthier; in return, I will feel less bogged down. That has been one of my main goals. Slowly but surely with yoga, I'm crawling there. As long as I am moving, everything is where it needs to be.

I'm also mindful of my breath or prana. I am trying to take deep breaths whenever I can.

Frightful Friday

I went to my first class after six months sabbatical. It was good meaning it kicked my fat ass. I can feel the asanas changing my body, grounding me in the process. That's what I like about Anusara yoga. It's the five principles that root me. You don't have to look for answers elsewhere because they already are within.

I do have the desire to do more than think about going to class. My action never caught up to my thoughts until this past Friday. In the meantime, I've been watching yogaglo.com. Yogaglo, useful in its own way, is not a substitute for a real live instructor. What yogaglo does is help me see how other students practice. It's one thing to do your practice, it's completely different and informative when you see your peers in action. For example, I never knew my arms buckle doing handstand until I became aware of it by watching yogaglo students. Never mind I am always a little timid while trying inversions.

My fear, however irrational, is always about hurting myself and not being able to see/feel where I am in my space, especially my back space. When the instructor says anything about 'feeling your back space,' I hear crickets. It's like not seeing or feeling where you are going in the dark. I don't have enough faith that I will be OK. Unfortunately, this fear dominates me right now. I'm working on it!